Perfection or Vanity
by Aoi Usagi
Summary: Chapter2 out soon!Sasuke has lately been having some awful nightmares . Memories of his past is beginning to reveal itself to him, but what does Sasuke do when a certain family member decides to arrange a little family reunion? ItaSasu and GaaraNeji


**Author's note:** hey everyone, I sincerely hope you like the fic, still working so it would be lovely to get some reviews, and trust this: THERE WILL BE LOTS OF LEMONS! Still get the feeling of that OOC-ness... Working on that...

Sorry for the slow beginning, but it will get interesting soon enough. **Another thing, this is a spoiler so if you don't know about Sasuke's past and don't want to know, don't read.**

You'll probably understand as you read. Anyway thank you so much for reading this. It means a lot - Hope you all like it.

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Perfection or Vanity

The eyes. They were back yet again, haunting his once peaceful sleep. The screams. They would not stop. Why would they not leave him alone! The desperation grew within him as his small naked feet carried him down the cold blood covered streets. Tears were flowing freely down his face and clouded his vision, but he could still faintly see and smell the lifeless bodies. The bodies and limbs of his family and friends. All the people he loved... Now staring at him with blank eyes, although they were dead he could feel their piercing glares. They envied him, his life. Their owns had been so brutally taken away without a single warning, and spared him. Only him. This child...

Sasuke ran as fast as his blistered feet could carry him. Towards his house, his home. The only safe place he knew of. His mind kept telling him this would all go away as soon as he reached the door to his house. There his father would tell him that everything would be all right and that is was only a terrible dream, and his mother would smile her always gentle smile and hug him tightly. She would rub his back with feathery touches and all his pain would fly away as he listened to her steady heartbeat. This though felt very comforting to him as he raced towards oblivion.

A dark shadow stared down with predatory eyes at the smaller frame squirming and crying out in pain and despair.

The wind had turned freezing as he reached his front door and everything was dead quiet. Not a single bird of cricket could be heard. The only sound that reached his ears were the sound of his own blood rushing through his veins and the beating of his aching heart. His lounges were burning and he felt a metallic taste in his mouth. A sensation that would become a familiar one later in his life.

Little Sasuke had lost all feeling in his tiny fingers as he reached clumsily for the door. He entered his beloved sanctuary and he felt a sudden chill sweep over him. He stopped in front of their large kitchen door. It was closed. They never closed that door. An uneasiness suddenly accompanied the chill that had situated at the centre of every bone in his body. He heard a weak dripping sounds. A thick liquid, a strong smell, and the sound of steel meeting the tender human flesh. The most vounerable and brutal creature living. Their lives so easily taken by someone with an experienced hand.

Sasuke stared blankly at the door before him, and then he weakly pushed at the it, almost hoping that it would not open. The door did indeed open, and it revealed a dreadful sight which would haunt him for the rest of his life. His brother, a man whom he had loved and respected as long as he could remember, stood there in front of him with a crimson covered blade in his hand shining alluring towards him. Whispering unheard secrets into his ears. Telling him everything that had happened without using a single word. Small drops of blood dripping from the katana slamming loudly against the kitchens wooden floor.

Sasuke's eyes followed the trail of blood and he saw what remained of his parents lying there on the floor. In a pool of their own blood, eyes filled with pain and betrayal. Their skin were as white as the purest snow, but the scenery before this little boy was not a beautiful one.

Eyes deep and dark, now carefully studying and analysing this new being entering the room. Cold and dangerous eyes now directed at him, although Sasuke's mind was not present he still faintly feel the glare. Sasuke was currently in his little world. Images fluttering loosely around in his head, memories that no longer had any meaning, feelings he would no longer experience and words that would no longer be said.

An endlessly deep and dark ocean of grief engulfed his entire being and pain pierced through his in every possible direction and angle as he fell down on his bruised knees. Sasuke's eyes were now burning and his heart screamed, and it felt like every single bone in his tiny being would rip out of its place. Tears flooded out of his eyes. He began screaming, words that gave no meaning at this point. He was unable to speak or express himself properly (but then again who would).

Itachi stood there and watched the chain of events. He could almost pinpoint the exact moment of his little brother's mental breakdown. His agony was visible to him, and it amused him. He caught himself grin slightly at his brother's display of emotions. "Let us see how far one can taint an innocent mind," he thought to himself. " You do not need to worry little brother," Itachi said calmly. "Neither mother or father did suffer much physical pain. It was done rather swift. I was disappointed in fact," he added as he slowly lifted his katana and wiped off the blood of their parents his eyes shining ghostly. Sasuke had stopped screaming at the sound of his brother's deep and calming voice. How could he still react this way? This man in front of him had brutally and carelessly murdered all of Sasuke's kin, yet still the tone snapped him out of his confusion in that very instant the first wave of words reached the inner chamber of his ear.

Within a blink of an eye Itachi had pulled out his kunai and thrown it towards Sasuke with pinpoint precision. It scarcely touched Sasuke's right cheek leaving a thin line of blood. Sasuke froze that very instant. Unable to move, unable to breath. He immediately felt a set of strong hands gently placed at the base of his neck. Caressing the sensitive skin with such care one would think he might break if held too roughly. His vision blurred and turned red.

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Sasuke awoke abruptadly screaming at the top of his lounges. Confused, disoriented and shaking hysterically. His body covered in sweat, and he was sobbing like a small child. A few minutes passed before he was able to collect himself. Drying his eyes and looking around in the darkness of his room he slowly began to calm down." A dream," he whispered to himself. "No... Not a dream... FUCK!" He had been able to suppress those memories for so long, but now the insisted on returning to torture his existence yet again. 

He had been with Orochimaru and Kabuto now for over 2 years and they had during this time helped him restrain his dreaded past, but lately his mind would often wander during training, and sleep. Back to the days where he was still a small child with his family by his side. Yes, everyone in his family. He could still remember the gentle look in his brother's eyes that day he sprained his foot during practice. Itachi lifted Sasuke up that day and carried him on his back all the way home. The warmth of his body. His strong and comforting arms. Those days when he was still an innocent child with a pure mind.

Sasuke felt his chest tighten at the thought of the people he had lost, as he stared at the bright red full moon glowing ghostly in the cold night sky, and he could almost see the tall dark figure eyeing him from atop one of the large trees.

He flopped back down onto the bed sighing to himself and mumbling quietly: " If this goes on I'll turn fucking soft..." He loathed himself for this. This weakness... Crying... For what? They had been dead for so long now. Why did he still even care..? He had his purpose in life. To kill Itachi, and when he had completed this one task he might as well fall over and die. "Something I probably will," he growled angrily. He kept thinking about the one piece of advice Orochimaru had given him. When you feel sad, train. When you are angry, train. When you feel weak or pain, train. When you no longer feel any of these you are ready. He even remembered the sly grin on that bastard's ugly mug...

"No way if I can go back to sleep after this," he murmured to himself. The bed felt soft and comforting but he was well aware of what waited for him in his dreams. "I need air," he said as he quickly got up and put his clothes on. They were always hanging ready on the dark little wooden chair by his bed.

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Took Sasuke approximately 15 minutes to get to the spot he wanted, after all it was not like this was the first time he had woken up un the middle of the night screaming and crying... 

Cold wind wrapped itself around him when he moved towards a small pond. Threes singing in the calming wind. The moon glowing as ghostly as ever with stars accompanying it brightly. The small pond was situated not too far, but still far enough for others not to bother to visits. A beautiful waterfall flowing freely, dense forest surrounding him. Upon arriving the first time he was awed by its stunning beauty, now this lovely scenery would only bring peace to his pained soul.

This place reminded him of another place not far from his childhood home. Slowly Sasuke began walking slowly towards the waters edge. Looking at his own reflection in the water. He almost anticipated seeing his father and mother standing behind him, but the only shadow he saw was that of his brother. A set of amused eyes, almost laughing at him. "Great now I have lost it," he immediately thought. "It just had to be you," he said with a clearly disgusted tone.

This had happened before, of course. Hallucinations were not something that threw him off guard anymore. Sasuke had seen his parents in the mirror every now and then for the past years, his nii-sama's shadow stalking him down the corridors. Kabuto had told him that large exposure to mangenkyo-sharingan could do that to you, but the only time Sasuke had ever seen that tequniqe was when Itachi murdered his family.

The large form appearing as his big brother put his right hand on Sasuke's hip, and he could practically feel it's soothing warmth. Gently rubbing. What the hell? HE COULD FEEL THE RIGHT HAND OF HIS BROTHER GENTLY RUBBING AND SOOTHING HIS HIP!

The smaller boy froze with his mouth hanging slightly open, eyes widened in apparent shock. Itachi had to grin at this. You sure are slow to be tensei ototo, he though to himself. But you have indeed grown up beautifully... His skin felt soft, silk-like. Pale and unscarred. A perfect portrait of young innocence, but not as stunning as when you were younger, of course no. Back then... Oh if you only knew little brother... There was not a single anbu not having erotic dreams of you. Itachi's hand wandered higher, up to his younger brothers torso and he could feel his hearth beat.

Sasuke was held completely still by his older brothers chakra. It had wrapped itself around his limps and now he was simply a puppet. He felt it moving around under his clothes and touching him everywhere. It almost felt like hands and fingers trailing up and down his back, between his legs and caressing his face.

Sasuke wanted to kill Itachi. Every fibre in his body ached for that one desire, but still... This had caught him completely off guard. Sasuke was tired... In mind and body, he was not ready for this... He wanted to turn around and sock Itachi one right into his gut, but his body did not obey. "Get off me... Now." Sasuke practically spit the words out. "Get off me you bastard! Now!" A strange uneasiness began evolving inside Sasuke's stomach, partly due to him unable to move and the lack of action from his brother. Itachi lifted his hands to Sasuke's head and carefully touched his little brothers lower lip. Sasuke had by that time regained some of his focus, and as soon as he felt skin touching his lip he sharply bit down deep into the unwanted finger of the person he despised. Seemingly unaffected by the pain Itachi only grinned and pressed his entire finger into Sasuke's mouth nearly chocking him. Letting the smaller boy taste his blood, then quickly withdrawing his hand. Itachi's left hand had never left its spot on Sasuke's chest. It had only wandered a bit on it's own, explored the young body once again.

"Kill me. Why are you stalling?" Sasuke tried to whisper but his voice cracked. The last thing Sasuke remembered after this was Itachi's cold eyes. "Wouldn't that be taking the easy way out, ototo? And that is why you are weak."

The younger boy felt a warm and wet sensation tracing the lining of his hear, then a sharp pain in his neck as he fell towards the wet ground in front of him. Soon to be his grave.

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** First chapter finished Soon more will come. and of course please review ('-')/  
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